You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
