I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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