lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
