I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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