did you get engaged???
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
