awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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