i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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