So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice