I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt