ADVERTISEMENT

• (417): View more from Missouri

  I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.

  Fav 16 6371 1512

  share tweet
  

• (512): View more from Texas

  He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.

  Fav 8 1169 3331

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (516): View more from New York

  How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?

  Fav 22 1649 4229

  share tweet
  

• (615): View more from Tennessee

  all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident

  Fav 11 1118 4779

  share tweet
  
• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (812): View more from Indiana

  I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated

  Fav 6 1175 3566

  share tweet
  

• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.

  Fav 9 2662 1577

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (732): View more from New Jersey

  He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.

  Fav 12 3981 1392

  share tweet
  

• (979): View more from Texas

  Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.

  Fav 4 2301 837

  share tweet
  

• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens

  Fav 2 2372 895

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (936): View more from Texas

  The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.

  Fav 7 1279 775

  share tweet
  

• (647): View more from Ontario

  I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus

  Fav 1 495 705

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (770): View more from Georgia

  I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.

  Fav 2 658 535

  share tweet
  

• (207): View more from Maine

  How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?

  Fav 3 295 191

  share tweet
  

• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.

  Fav 0 418 165

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (740): View more from Ohio

  He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."

  Fav 1 184 57

  share tweet
  

Randomize