i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
can u get pink eye on your cock?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
The dick lei will go down in squad history