She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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