she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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