I'm gonna have a badass scar
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
