FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
