my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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