no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
