Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize