I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
