does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
