apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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