I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
