I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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