peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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