idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
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Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
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Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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