Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
