I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
