the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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