nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize