I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize