Ambien. No doubt about it.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
