What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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