I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
