we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
