i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
