Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
