I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
