so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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