Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
