Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
if only i could text you this smell
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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