I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Hippo gnu deer
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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