I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Randomize