At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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