im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
