He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize
