YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
