just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
