pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
