Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
