I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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