Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
