I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
