I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
