Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
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