She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize