UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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