I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
it glows. i had to have it.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
