what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I touched a dick in church today
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
